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Parents and Friends Resources >
Books for Parents, Family and Friends of GLBT Youth
LGBT History
For Parents Whose Children Have Just Come Out
Additional Professional Material
LGBT History
Scholastic works on LBGT political movements, comparative LGBT culture, and prominent LBGT historical figures. Many suitable for either a high school or young college audience.
Boykin, Keith. One More River to Cross: Black and Gay in America. Doubleday Books, 1998.
A critically acclaimed book on the relationship between African-Americans and gays in America. Set against a backdrop of the civil rights movement and the 1993 gay and lesbian rights march in Washington, Boykin, executive director of the National Black Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum, contrasts both movements, exploring what it means to be both black and gay in America.
Brimmer, Larry Dane, ed. Letters to Our Children: Lesbian and Gay Adults Speak to the New Generation. Franklin Watts, 1997.
Gay and lesbian adults from across the United States write about their experiences and the degree of acceptance they have found in their community and occupation. Places a strong emphasis on vocation.
Bronski, Michael. Outstanding Lives: Profiles of Lesbians and Gay Men. Visible Ink, 1997.
A collection of seventy black and white photographs of prominent, openly gay or lesbian adults. With explanatory text.
Clausen, Jan and Duberman, Martin. Beyond Gay or Straight: Understanding Sexual Orientation. Chelsea House, 1996.
Clausen and Duberman examine various historical explanations for homosexuality, placing each in its cultural context and examining its impact on contemporary attitudes.
Cowan, Tom. Gay Men and Women Who Enriched the World. Alyson, 1997.
Forty-seven biographical sketches of mostly literary figures, from Sappho to James Baldwin, who were gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
Duberman, Martin, ed. Lives of Notable Gay Men and Lesbians. Chelsea House, 1994.
A series of book-length biographies detailing the contributions individual gay men and lesbians have made to contemporary society and discussing the cultural environment for LGBT people in their time. Includes political, literary, and entertainment figures.
Duberman, Martin. Stonewall. Dutton, 1993.
Collected oral history of the Stonewall riots. Six different witnesses describe their own backgrounds and role in the events.
Duberman, Vicinus, and Chauncey, eds. Hidden From History: Reclaiming the Gay and Lesbian Past. New American Library, 1989.
A series of essays about gay and lesbian history. Topics include Classical Athens, Lesbians in American Indian Cultures, The Renaissance, Lesbianism in Medieval and Early Modem Europe, and the Jazz Age in Harlem.
Faderman, Lillian. Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in Twentieth Century America. Penguin, 1992.
Describes how changes in American culture and labor, particularly immediately before and after World War II, impacted attitudes towards lesbians and lesbian relationships.
Faderman, Lillian. Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love between Women from the Renaissance to the Present. Morrow, 1981.
Drawing upon books and other literary records, Faderman illuminates historical attitudes towards intimate relationships between women, carefully attending to both wider cultural norms and the self-images of women in lesbian relationships.
Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman. Beacon Press, 1997.
A thoroughly researched and easy-to-read illustrated history of transsexuals and transvestites.
Ford, Michael Thomas. Out Spoken: Role Models from the Lesbian and Gay Community. Morrow, 1998.
Biographies of 12 professionally successful and openly gay or lesbian adults. Subjects include entertainment and media figures, a police officer, rabbi, and others.
Frank, Barney and the History Project. Improper Bostonians: Lesbian and Gay History from the Puritans to Playland. Beacon Press, 1998.
Three hundred years of Boston's Gay and Lesbian history is covered in this comprehensive book. Includes photographs, news clippings and reproductions of primary documents.
Garber, Marjorie. Bisexuality. Routledge, 2000.
Explores the culture, history, and politics of bisexuality with attention to famous figures.
Grahn, Judy. Another Mother Tongue. Beacon Press, 1994.
A broad collection of gay and lesbian cultural history.
Griffin, Pat. Strong Women, Deep Closets: Lesbians and Homophobia in Sport. Human Kinetics Publishing, 1998.
Griffin, as a former athlete and coach, examines the homophobia and heterosexism she finds rampant in women's sports. Chapters include stereotypes, discrimination, the religious right in sports, and others. Interviews with lesbian athletes and coaches bring a personal perspective to the discussion.
Helminiak, Daniel A., Ph.D., What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. Alamo Square Dist., 1994.
Top scholars—such as Yale history professor John Boswell and New Testament professors L. William Countryman of Berkeley and Robin Scroggs of Union Theological Seminary—show that those who perceive Bible passages as condemning homosexuality are being misled by faulty translation and poor interpretation.
Jennings, Kevin, ed. Becoming Visible. Alyson, 1994.
Intended for use in high school history courses, chapters in Jennings’s anthology illustrate both the general climate for LGBT persons and important events in LGBT world history.
Miller, Neil. Out In The World: Gay and Lesbian Life from Buenos Aires to Bangkok. Random House, 1992.
Based on two years of travel through 12 countries, Miller’s work contrasts the social and political climate for gays and lesbians he observed around the world.
Miller, Neil. Out of the Past. Random House, 1992.
A history text following more than 100 years of the gay rights movement. Chapters discuss cowboys, Native Americans, "Boston Marriages," and contemporary LGBT organizing.
Summers, Claude J. The Gay and Lesbian Literary Heritage. Owlet, 1997.
An encyclopedia of gay and lesbian literature with an emphasis on American and English writing. Includes articles on individual writers and works as well as trends and time periods.
Other Supportive Non-Fiction
Work by education and mental health professionals presenting resources and advice for LGBT youth. Many may also be of interest to adults who work with youth.
Bass, Ellen and Kate Kaufman. Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth and Their Allies. Harper Collins, 1996.
A down-to-earth book useful for young people in any stage of coming out. Includes sections on self-discovery, friends, romantic relationships, family school, spirituality and community. Intersperses young people's stories with text that respects the diversity of people's experiences. Addresses sexuality in a forthright manner.
Bell, Ruth, et al. Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. Three Rivers, 1998.
The authors of Our Bodies, Ourselves discuss the physiological and emotional changes adolescents experience, with an emphasis on sexual health and social influences. Written for an audience of male and female teenagers of all sexual orientations.
Chandler, Kurt. Passages Of Pride: Lesbian and Gay Youth Come of Age. Alyson, 1997.
Interviews with six teenagers from St. Paul, Minnesota, who discuss coming out to themselves, their families, and their communities.
Due, Linnea. Joining the Tribe: Growing Up Gay and Lesbian in the 90's. Doubleday, 1995.
Due traveled across the United States interviewing LGBT youth of diverse ethnic and economic backgrounds, attempting to illustrate the hardships and daily experiences of contemporary queer youth. Introductory material contrasts the experience of coming out as a young person in the 1990’s with Stonewall-era narratives.
Gray, Mary L. In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth. Harrington Park, 1999.
An anthropologist by training, Gray presents a series of essays informed by taped interviews between LGBT youth, ages 14 to 18, who discuss not only their experiences coming and being out, but future plans, childhood, religious identity, and attitudes towards the Internet. Emphasis is placed on youth residing outside of major cities and on racial and religious diversity.
Hugel, Kelly. GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens. Free Spirit Publishing, 2004.
An advice book for youth who are coming out or struggling with being out, with chapters on dating, family, religion, being out at school, and coming out at work. Includes first-person contributions from GLBTQ youth and an index to supportive organizations, books, and web sites.
Pollack, Rachel and Cheryl Schwartz. The Journey Out: A Guide For and About Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Teens. Puffin, 1995.
A guidebook to coming out for LGBT youth, with chapters on self-acceptance, LGBT figures in history, physical and emotional health, and strategies for dealing with conflict at school or home. Includes first-person narratives by LGBT youth and an extensive resource section.
Sherril, Jan-Mitchell and Hardesty, Craig A. The Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Students' Guide to Colleges, Universities and Graduate Schools. New York UP, 1994.
A discussion of factors to consider when choosing a college at which one can be comfortably out. Includes profiles of student life 179 at American colleges and universities which, though likely dated, can help students weigh academic and social options available at any college considered.
For Parents Whose Children Have Just Come Out
Memoirs, resource guides, and tips for parents whose children have recently come out.
Aarons, Leroy. Prayers For Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son. HarperCollins, 1995.
Leroy's reflections on her son's life and death are juxtaposed with Bobby's journal entries, in which he describes conflict between his gay identity and the anti-gay sentiment he finds in his family and church. Leroy has since become active with Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG). Bobby's story is also featured in the video documentary Gay Youth (see below).
Bernstein, Robert A. Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together. Thunder's Mouth Press, 1995.
Bernstein recounts his experiences with P-FLAG after his daughter came out at the age of 19. Through profiles of fellow P-FLAG members, readers are urged to accept their LGBT children and advocate for LGBT support in school and work environments.
Borhek, Mary. V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. Pilgrim, 1993
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A coming-out guide intended to provide LGBT persons with an understanding of what their parents may feel upon learning they have an LGBT child.
Clark, Don. Loving Someone Gay. Celestial Arts, 1997.
Essays and advice from medical and mental health professionals, educators, and others with close personal ties to LGBT persons. Updated twice since its original publication in 1977.
Dew, Robb Forman. The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out. Ballantine Books, 1994.
Award-winning novelist Dew describes the process by which she and her husband grew to accept their son’s homosexuality.
Fairchild, Betty and Nancy Hayward. Now That You Know: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding and Accepting Their Gay Children. Harvest/HBJ, 1998.
Written by two mothers of gay and lesbian children, this book takes a sympathetic approach to the shock parents may experience after learning their child is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Fairchild and Hayward encourage parents to support their children while grappling with their own feelings.
Jennings, Kevin and Pat Shapiro. Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered or Questioning Child. Fireside, 2002.
Jennings and Shapiro present formal research, anecdotal essays, and professional advice on creating a healthy home environment for LBGTQ youth. Chapters include methods of understanding teenage culture, how to avoid sending unintentionally unwelcoming/anti-gay messages, and preventing depression in LGBTQ adolescents.
McDougall, Bryce, ed. My Child is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News. Allen & Unwin, 1998.
A collection of letters written by parents, reflecting on the moment each learned her or his child was gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Intended to help parents understand the process of accepting a child’s homosexuality. Also useful for children curious about what their parents may feel when they come out.
McAllister, Wirth, and Wirth. Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbian and Gay Children Talk of Their Experiences. St. Martin’s Griffin, 1997.
Synthesized oral history collected from parents of LGBT children, displaying a range of experiences. Subjects reflect upon the source of anti-gay feelings they once held and how they came to accept their children.
PFLAG. Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual People. Available online from http://www.pflag.org/.
A short (23-page) guide for parents whose children have recently come out. Also available in Spanish.
Shyer, Marlene and Christopher Shyer. Not Like Other Boys: Growing Up Gay: A Mother and Son Look Back. Houghton Mifflin, 1996.
An account of one son’s upbringing by parents who feared from an early age that the boy would be gay. Told alternately from the perspective of mother and son.
Additional Professional Material
Further information on the needs of LGBTQ adolescents. Not primarily focused on the school environment, but useful to educators and other professionals who may encounter LGBTQ youth in crisis.
Herdt, Gilbert and Andrew Boxer. Children of Horizons: How Gay and Lesbian Teens are leading a New Way Out of the Closet. Beacon Press, 1993.
A research text on gay/lesbian youth in Chicago. Details the adolescent coming out process and the developmental, psychological, and social challenges observed. Fieldwork was conducted in 1987 and 1988, but most findings remain applicable to current LGBT teen concerns.
Mallon, Gerald P. We Don’t Exactly Get the Welcome Wagon. Columbia UP, 1998.
Results of a study of LGBTQ youth in foster care in the United States and Canada. Useful for contrasting needs of LGBTQ youth with those of their heterosexual peers.
Ryan, Caitlin C. and Donna Futterman. Lesbian and Gay Youth: Care and Counseling. Columbia UP, 1998.
Written by a social worker and a physician, this book outlines counseling and support needs of lesbian and gay youth for an audience of mental and physical health care providers, parents, educators, and other advocates. Special attention is paid to where LGBT adolescents’ needs and behavior do and do not overlap with those of their heterosexual peers.
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